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Posted by on April 04, 1998 at 20:33:45:
In Reply to: Re: Re: Another American-Swedish Success Love Story! posted by LAH on February 19, 1998 at 11:33:26: Dear LAH, A few comments from someone who has been there, done that - actually still there and still doing it. I have been married to my Swedish husband for six years. We lived for the first two years in California, the last four years here and are about to move back to the US for a myriad of reasons. First, a couple of practical matters. You do not need to become a Swedish citizen to live here. You may retain your American citizenship for as long as you live if you wish. As a legal permanent resident of Sweden, there are very few things you are not entitled to, one of which is voting in national elections. You are allowed to vote in local (municipal) elections. Residence permits are granted to spouses of Swedish citizens upon presentation of proof of valid marriage and are provisional for a period of up to two years. (The rule says two years, but my provisional status was removed and I was granted permanent residence status after six months in the country.)After the provisional period, you will be required to show up in person every three years at the immigration office (it used to be the local police station; this has recently been changed) to prove that you are still physically in the country, at which time your permit will be renewed for another three years without further ado. My understanding is that Sweden requires a written renunciation of former citizenship in order to acquire Swedish citizenship. If you sign a written oath of renunciation, you will lose your American citizenship. If that occurs, should you ever wish to move back to the US, you would have to apply to immigrate as if you had never been an American citizen. Be prepared for cultural differences, though they can be subtle and it is up to you to be sensitive to them. Swedes are not anti-American in general, much less so than many other Europeans (in my experience) but they are *not* American. They also tend not to communicate openly when there are problems and this fear of conflict can in some cases feel like dishonesty and engender a certain amount of paranoia. The best way to deal with this in my experience is to take the first step - be open, honest and willing to listen. Response is usually positive. Language is very important. Even though many Swedes, perhaps the majority of those under 40, speak reasonably good English and will happily speak English with English speakers for a while, they get tired and secretly resent it if English speakers make no effort to learn Swedish. I speak Swedish fluently (I am a translator, in fact) now, but spoke no Swedish at all when I arrived four years ago. When Swedes heard my difficulties with the language and switched to English to make things easier for me and to practice their English, I gently asked them to please allow me to try, even if I made mistakes, because I really wanted to learn. The response was overwhelmingly positive. Many Swedes find Americans and other English speakers to be insufferably arrogant when it comes to language ("Everybody speaks English here, there is no need to learn Swedish") though they will *never* tell you that to your face. I have grown to love and hate this country with nearly the same intensity that I love and hate the US, the land of my birth. This is neither an idealistic utopia nor a nightmarish dystopia. People here are like everywhere else - good and bad, educated and ignorant, faithful husbands and wives or lyin', cheatin' dogs. There are problems with growing violence and racism, unemployment, uncertainty before the future, women's equality (which is a whole other subject), the economy and so forth. Unfairness and injustice exist here like anywhere else. Swedes have a marvelous sense of humor, but the language is a big part of it! The landscape is enchanting, the people are kind and friendly once you get out of the big city (like everywhere else), there is often a very real social concern that I respect even if I do not always agree with the methods chosen to tackle social problems. The myths of wild Swedish sexuality are precisely that. Sex is discussed openly on a general, educational level, but not on the private level.(It is okay to discuss what "people" do, but not what you and I do.)Yes, women may swim topless or naked if they like, but many Swedes are uncomfortable with it, even though they accept it. The statistics regarding extramarital sex and divorce are roughly equivalent with American statistics. Sweden is virtually secular, but protestant values (specifically Lutheran) are bred in the bone nonetheless. Ask your fiance to tell you about "Jantelagen" (pronounced roughly Yon-te-loggin). Finally, six years later, I don't regret a thing. I am very happy with my husband and glad that I married him, but because he is who he is, not because he is Swedish. Lycka till! (Good luck!) and feel free to email me privately if you would like to ask anything more about my experiences in Sweden. |